3 Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.

Psalm 127
A song of ascents. Of Solomon.

1 Unless the LORD builds the house,
the builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the guards stand watch in vain.
2 In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to[a] those he loves.

3 Children are a heritage from the LORD,
offspring a reward from him.
4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their opponents in court.
By now If I know you personally you have likely learned that James and I have learned we are pregnant with our fourth child. WOW I know! It is a miracle of sense, both he and I have been told by numerous doctors for varying reasons that Children would either not be possible or would be hard to conceive. To some effect this has been true, our son and oldest daughter are 7 years apart and again our two daughters are six years apart. Each of those sets of years spent with long nights of doubt and confusion, "why not us , Lord" and pleading prayer. There is an emptiness that I can't explain that comes with infertility, (whether it is secondary or always so). For me as a woman having children is a fundamental part of who I am. Personally a mother is who I have always believed I was created to be, though I went to college it was never my intention to have a career outside the home. From my earliest thoughts on who I was going to be as woman and in Christ. I was always a mother... and I believed that I would have a large family.
TJ is a product of my first marriage to my high school sweetheart. Tim is a good man. I still struggle sometimes with our choice to divorce especially as Tim Jr has gotten older. The Lord has blessed us both in spite of it with wonderful spouses so much better suited to us.
My marriage to James began with me having my son, and of course for the time between those two marriages I never thought of any other man except my little boy. Still there were days I longed for my dreams of my youth..eventually James and I met and married. I immediately wanted to start a family.. to no avail
So, as weeks and months of trying to become pregnant turned into years, I became discontented with my home. My job, my calling. You see, the emptiness is a kind of broken. That is what I felt, broken, less than. Not a whole woman. I wanted my husband to leave, after all, I couldn't give him a family.
Just before I became pregnant with our first daughter Adalena. My husband said two things to me that i will remember until I die, "Crystal you are a mother, you take care of our son, and so many more. One of the best things about you is that you are so self sacrificing for others." I don't know it is true but it did give me the emotional hug I needed. And, " I married you because I love you and T, not because I need children of my own, if we never have kids I will be okay with that, too."
He was, he never never stopped caring how I felt but he reminded me that we were together and that was what mattered.
In 2004 my mother in law planned a trip to Disney for us and James' brother family. I hadn't been feeling well and made a doctors appointment , it was only the day we were supposed to leave to go to Disney, Everyone except James I and I went ahead to keep the reservations. We went to the doctors appointment, where it was confirmed I was pregnant! We followed everyone to Florida where I spent a blessed joyous miserable nauseous week in the Florida July heat!!! Adalena was born the following February.
In the next six years , we tried again for another baby, and we conceived, and lost a baby.... we would wait three months or so and try again , only to become pregnant and again loose the baby.This same even took place year after year... By the time I became pregnant with Belle,in 2009, I fully expected to loose her. It's sad that I didn't have more faith than that, but I truly allowed my fear to control me. She stuck though and I carried her to term Praise GOD! In spite of a tumor in my uterus - that had lead to a multiple pregnancy being just her at the end of nine months. Belle. named for my beloved Nanny.... I thought would satisfy my longing to fill my husband quiver with many Arrows, only strengthen the desire. However I honestly believed she would be our last child. I have spent the last year and half, filled with focus. Belle had been on an apnea monitor for the first six months after she was born, I nursed her and because of those two things she never left my side. With her constantly there, came a focus to bring my home into a sustainable and manageable order, a focus to teach my children at home, to give them strength and purpose in the Lord and in the world.
James was laid of in June and I suppose that in the circling of the wagons I didn't think to consider that with my returned cycle would come too, possible fertility. Why would I though.I had from experience six years of trying at least, to become pregnant again, no such thing as an accidental pregnancy in the K's household.
Boy, that was a crazy month. TJ accepted Christ, James baptized him in the in law's pool on his thirteenth birthday and in the same week (best guess) God moved in a big and powerful way on our family. This little part of a big family. James and I have given God control of our resources and our reproduction, for a lot of reasons(i will post those later) had one of the biggest and most amazing surprises of our lives, WE WERE PREGNANT and we hadn't even been trying! That may not seem like a big deal to some of you, however after reading to this point I hope you can see that to us it is tremendous and proof positive that we are blessed beyond measure by a loving and gracious Father. one who would save our oldest son, and give us another child, just because He loves us.

A New Day dawned.....

Hello world, It's been quite a while since I have sat down to post anything. I am hoping I don't disappoint any of you who subscribed in the beginning of the original adventure - but I am taking my blog in a new direction.
A lot has changed since then. For better and worse I suppose. I have learned though that this is how things are and isn't that exactly the way they are supposed to be?
I a now the mother to a baby girl Belle who was born Spring 2010.All those baby posts were put into practice there!! This summer my oldest became a teenager! I have started to see the light of God shine in my son as he became a Baptized believer in Christ this same Summer. I also seen the ugly head of commercialism and peer envy in both he and my now six-year-old daughter. Don't get me wrong there, I think it's lovely to have nice things. I just don't believe the clothes make the man or the girl for that matter.
We withdrew Addy from public school, a conflict of interest I suppose you could say was the general reasoning, and have begun homeschooling her.I am really enjoying it so far.
I became inspired by other bloggers, the Bible and a huge source of tutorials to be a mend and make due mom. I resolve to take only what I need, share what I have, make what I can, buy local and and handmade when I have to.
My Dad getting sick with cancer and realizing the his overexposure to environmental toxins caused it (also in the absence) only served to further my belief that changing the way we do things was no longer just a hobby or idea but was fundamental.
As my husband has grown closer to Christ we as a couple have experienced a conviction over haul! A lot of things have become less important. Some have become essential to who we are and what we are here for.
You know what hasn't changed much..... this desire to be as basic as possible to cut out all the fancy and just be who we were created to be.
A light was shined on us and we began to share ideas and search for answers in the Bible and in the old wisdom of the generations before us.
Dave Ramsey points out that our grandparents *(these would actually be my great grandparents) didn't go into debt for homes - they saved for them, That same generation grew most of their own food. All these women sewed, made fabric in some way, had basic health and healing knowledge, most taught their children at home for sometime anyway(in rural areas), canned what they grew and made use of all that was given to them.
That is the generation that I admire, and that is the generation I believe balk and shake their heads at my generation. My generation for the most part that wastes, rely on instant and has no idea how to do anything for themselves in most cases, including programing the technology that does everything for us!
It is my sincere hope that even though some of you may not be believers, you are concerned for our shared world, and that you will stay and continue to see where this goes. I don't seek to offend anyone,believer or non, nor those who believe and still aren't going green... just sharing my slice
So where are we now? What's all this have to do with the green life? Just you wait and see.
Crystal