3 Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.

Psalm 127
A song of ascents. Of Solomon.

1 Unless the LORD builds the house,
the builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the guards stand watch in vain.
2 In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to[a] those he loves.

3 Children are a heritage from the LORD,
offspring a reward from him.
4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.
5 Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their opponents in court.
By now If I know you personally you have likely learned that James and I have learned we are pregnant with our fourth child. WOW I know! It is a miracle of sense, both he and I have been told by numerous doctors for varying reasons that Children would either not be possible or would be hard to conceive. To some effect this has been true, our son and oldest daughter are 7 years apart and again our two daughters are six years apart. Each of those sets of years spent with long nights of doubt and confusion, "why not us , Lord" and pleading prayer. There is an emptiness that I can't explain that comes with infertility, (whether it is secondary or always so). For me as a woman having children is a fundamental part of who I am. Personally a mother is who I have always believed I was created to be, though I went to college it was never my intention to have a career outside the home. From my earliest thoughts on who I was going to be as woman and in Christ. I was always a mother... and I believed that I would have a large family.
TJ is a product of my first marriage to my high school sweetheart. Tim is a good man. I still struggle sometimes with our choice to divorce especially as Tim Jr has gotten older. The Lord has blessed us both in spite of it with wonderful spouses so much better suited to us.
My marriage to James began with me having my son, and of course for the time between those two marriages I never thought of any other man except my little boy. Still there were days I longed for my dreams of my youth..eventually James and I met and married. I immediately wanted to start a family.. to no avail
So, as weeks and months of trying to become pregnant turned into years, I became discontented with my home. My job, my calling. You see, the emptiness is a kind of broken. That is what I felt, broken, less than. Not a whole woman. I wanted my husband to leave, after all, I couldn't give him a family.
Just before I became pregnant with our first daughter Adalena. My husband said two things to me that i will remember until I die, "Crystal you are a mother, you take care of our son, and so many more. One of the best things about you is that you are so self sacrificing for others." I don't know it is true but it did give me the emotional hug I needed. And, " I married you because I love you and T, not because I need children of my own, if we never have kids I will be okay with that, too."
He was, he never never stopped caring how I felt but he reminded me that we were together and that was what mattered.
In 2004 my mother in law planned a trip to Disney for us and James' brother family. I hadn't been feeling well and made a doctors appointment , it was only the day we were supposed to leave to go to Disney, Everyone except James I and I went ahead to keep the reservations. We went to the doctors appointment, where it was confirmed I was pregnant! We followed everyone to Florida where I spent a blessed joyous miserable nauseous week in the Florida July heat!!! Adalena was born the following February.
In the next six years , we tried again for another baby, and we conceived, and lost a baby.... we would wait three months or so and try again , only to become pregnant and again loose the baby.This same even took place year after year... By the time I became pregnant with Belle,in 2009, I fully expected to loose her. It's sad that I didn't have more faith than that, but I truly allowed my fear to control me. She stuck though and I carried her to term Praise GOD! In spite of a tumor in my uterus - that had lead to a multiple pregnancy being just her at the end of nine months. Belle. named for my beloved Nanny.... I thought would satisfy my longing to fill my husband quiver with many Arrows, only strengthen the desire. However I honestly believed she would be our last child. I have spent the last year and half, filled with focus. Belle had been on an apnea monitor for the first six months after she was born, I nursed her and because of those two things she never left my side. With her constantly there, came a focus to bring my home into a sustainable and manageable order, a focus to teach my children at home, to give them strength and purpose in the Lord and in the world.
James was laid of in June and I suppose that in the circling of the wagons I didn't think to consider that with my returned cycle would come too, possible fertility. Why would I though.I had from experience six years of trying at least, to become pregnant again, no such thing as an accidental pregnancy in the K's household.
Boy, that was a crazy month. TJ accepted Christ, James baptized him in the in law's pool on his thirteenth birthday and in the same week (best guess) God moved in a big and powerful way on our family. This little part of a big family. James and I have given God control of our resources and our reproduction, for a lot of reasons(i will post those later) had one of the biggest and most amazing surprises of our lives, WE WERE PREGNANT and we hadn't even been trying! That may not seem like a big deal to some of you, however after reading to this point I hope you can see that to us it is tremendous and proof positive that we are blessed beyond measure by a loving and gracious Father. one who would save our oldest son, and give us another child, just because He loves us.

Baby Green: Choosing the "better" formula for your little one

I have to say that this is one of my longest researched blogs yet. In case you haven't figured it out I am a huge advocate of breast milk, but I also recognize that there is sometime circumstances where breast feeding solely or at all isn't an option. My own daughter Addy needed formula supplements to save her life, I wasn't producing enough milk to help her rid her body of Bili Rubin during her first weeks of life. I maintained sole breast feeding and she had her levels checked nearly everyday. ultimately though James and I chose to supplement her rather than see her continue to yellow and possibly do irreparable damage to her liver.
There are also those special couples who adopt and thus mothers milk isn't really physically possible. Some mothers have their miracles born too early and their milk never comes in, and there are those moms who just can't get the hang of it try as they may, it just becomes so tiresome and frustrating for them and baby.There are a number of really GOOD reasons why we need a quality choice in formula. This became most apparent to me during what I call a "God moment" this week,when my brother in law, a bachelor, brought me an orphaned kitten he had found. I had to purchase formula for an infant, though not of my species in order to keep it sustained and alive. It was sometime during one of the midnight feedings that it dawned on me that though I advocate breast milk, it truly is important to have a safe healthy alternative to breast milk sometimes.
I was researching the topic from the perspective of not being able to breast feed. What is important to me. Well obviously as close to breast milk as possible, organic, without any additives. I began with what I knew, the main stream brands and their organic options.
What do I mean by organic? A true organic formula whether it is milk to soy based must come from organic certified source ie organic soy beans or an organic cow (no hormone injections and a strict organic vegetable based diet), all the essentials added things like carrots for the beta carotene or other vegetables for fat and vitamin content must also be certified organic before becoming part of the formula. The process by which the formula is made must also be organic, meaning that nothing can be don chemically to alter the ingredients, heat and additives are all strictly monitored.
I was surprised to find that there are a lot of things I didn't know about formula. DHA is all the rage. So what is DHA - it is "fatty acid,that occurs naturally in breast milk.These long chain polyunsaturated fatty acids are powerful enough to affect brain and eye development.They work in concert with other fatty acids which make up lipid bi-layers.These lipid bi-layers are found in every cell in the human body.They regulate proteins involved with signaling.The regulation and balance of lipids in these bi-layers is critical for proper cell signaling.Cholesterol is essential for s-acylation which activates and de-activates protein signaling.Disruption of this s-acylation by increasing the amount of unsaturation will have devastating consequences. in breast milk there is a natural regulation not fully understood by scientists". However, they found DHA in breast milk so they thought to add it to formula to make it "just like breast milk"

So we are going organic? UNTIL you get to the process of adding that magic accompaniment that makes the world believe that it is just like breast milk. I have learned that the process used to derive DHA is what I would consider to be "dirty", there is a number of ways but one of the most disturbing is to use bleach - yes bleach to break down the wall on the fat cell in order to extract the DH:,C. cohnii oil (algae) & M. alpina oil (fungus) used in some organic and conventional infant formulas,are treated with hexane solvent (a suspected neurotoxin), acid, and bleach. After reading a blog by Jenn Savedge,I started checking network news sources, like the Washington Post and I FLIPPED OUT! The really disturbing thing is that the FDA knows this and still allows some organics to carry the USDA seal.
I found a few formulas that are certified organic sealed and used nothing toxic extract DHA.A few but they are out there! I have posted a link, on my facebook page and will include in my newsletter,that compares the alternatives to these, this was a great list and included prices.
If organic isn't that important to you then a conventional formula may be your choice, I would recommend avoiding the DHA/ARA additives all together, as the process isn't guaranteed in the least.
Of Course, as anything these days price is one of our biggest concerns, so I also took a look at some of the generic and store brands too. A few of the big box stores have organic options, again I would opt for not getting the DHA/ARA to avoid unnecessary chemical exposures, if you choose to use even the organic store brands.
It comes done to this for me, if I have to use formula I would choose Natures One baby's Only Organic formula... they have organic certification disclose all ingredients and offer explanations for how they get the DHA in the formula. You may be concerned that they don't offer an infant formula, well the baby's only is nutritious enough for infants, it is a labeling tactic to encourage breastfeeding moms to stick to it for the first 12 months... but they told me that on their label - how is that for truth in advertising?
My best advice for any product is to avoid the green washing, find a product that discloses ALL it's ingredients and tells you in plain language how each additive is extracted,if a product is worth your time, trust and dollars then you are worth it enough to that company to be allowed to know what they are asking you to put into your body and the bodies of your family.

Baby Green: Bottles and BPA

If you know me then you know that the whole green thing only went to the next level in the last few years. I have learned more about my impact on the environment and more , since joining Chartreuse about the impact of the unnatural environment on my family.
Nearly everything we use has some sort of toxin in it. Our dishes, our clothes, most defiantly the products we use... but that is another blog.
This one is on BPA. What is that anyway? Bisphenol A, commonly abbreviated as BPA, is an organic compound with two phenol functional groups. It is a dysfunctional building block of several important plastics and plastic additives. With an annual production of 2–3 million metric tonnes, it is an important monomer in the production of polycarbonate, or plastic. I could probably bore you more about how the process takes place and how it is not really stable, I can also mention that it has been suspected since the 1930's that it may be toxic to humans but I think you are reading this to try to learn how to avoid the 'bad bottles".
I want to add, before going into the proposed safe list that this isn't something I have just rounded out to sell products as recently as Aug. 6, 2007
ABC news reported that :
"A report published online last week by the journal Reproductive Toxicology warned that a chemical used to make a wide variety of plastic goods, including most baby bottles, may not be safe. It's called bisphenol-A, or BPA.

Tests involving lab rats and mice have shown that even small amounts of exposure to BPA can lead to a range of serious ailments, says professor Frederick vom Saal, a biologist at the University of Missouri who authored the report.

"Very low doses [of BPA] — below the amounts that are present in humans — when, particularly, exposure occurs in fetuses and newborns, you end up with those babies eventually developing prostate cancer, breast cancer. They become hyperactive.
They show learning impairment. It's a poster chemical for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder," vom Saal said.
And it's in most of us: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found BPA in the urine of 95 percent of people it tested. (NINETY FIVE PERCENT..)

In the last two years, state lawmakers in California, Maryland and Minnesota have tried to ban BPA, without success.

California Assemblywoman Fiona Ma introduced a bill to ban BPA and although that provision was eventually removed, she hopes to bring it back."I think it's a very serious chemical," she said. "The science is in." ".
Until there is a national ban on BPA, like Canada and the UK have already done here in America we can only stay informed, ask questions and make the best of the choices given us.
The Boston Globe published this resource and round of Q&A
The state’s warning is precise for parents of children up to age 2: Avoid transparent (clear or colored) plastic containers or baby bottles with the recycling number 7 and the letters PC (which stands for polycarbonate); use glass or stainless steel instead. If plastics are still being used, parents should avoid heating those containers because that can increase the release of the chemical. They should also wash the containers by hand with warm water and soap, instead of placing them in dishwashers.

Women who are pregnant or breast-feeding should also eat, or cook with, fresh or frozen products instead of canned foods that may contain BPA, to reduce fetal or infant exposure to the chemical, Condon said.

Some Answers to questions about BPA
How to avoid bisphenol A
Q. How do I know if a bottle has BPA in it?
A. Polycarbonate, the kind of plastic that contains BPA, is hard and clear. It may also be tinted. Look for a code on the bottom. If you see a number 7 recycling symbol, and the letters "PC", the bottle contains BPA. You should also avoid bottles with only the number 7; while not all contain BPA, most do.

Q. What should I use instead?
A. Glass or stainless steel bottles do not have BPA. There are also several kinds of plastic baby bottles that do not have BPA. However, studies on BPA-free products are too limited to recommend one product over another. Be sure you look at the bottom of the bottle and read the label carefully to make sure you are choosing a BPA-free bottle.

Q. What else can I do to protect my child?
A. Eat fresh or frozen fruits and vegetables instead of canned products (the lining contains BPA) if you're pregnant or breastfeeding. Do not heat food or drinks in polycarbonate plastic containers. You would be suprised where you find BPA.
Here are some BPA FREE baby bottles:
~Born Free makes BPA free and glass bottles.
~ Medela the champion among most breast feeding moms, offers BPA FREE bottles and pu,ping accesories.
~ Dr Brown's Natural GLASS bottles
~ Play tex drop ins are BPA free (but you know I absolutely don't advocate a disposable when there is an alternative.)
All of these are avaible at Target and Babies R Us as well as over the internet. There are less main stream brands - and I LOVE those as they actually have "lead the pack" and have been green and safe before the media rallied for safer products.
~ Green To Grow
~Wee Go baby bottles - these are glass with a rubbery sleeve to protect against breakage, The whole bottle is free of BPA, phthalates, PVC and polycarbonates. The bottle and sleeve can go into the dishwasher together for easy cleaning. The cap and ring should be hand washed, though.

On a side note - if you have children past bottle age and you are wondering about BPA - the answer is Yes there are risks of BPA in "sippies" to avoid that choose glass or stainless steel. Check out the stainless steel water bottle on www.greenlifecarolina.com . It comes in 2 different sizes and the smaller one is great for Toddlers.
Some additional recommended reading:

Baby Green : Breastfeeding

So, I have to say I was really surprised at the reaction that I got about my post on disposables.
I am proud to announce that I will be breast feeding baby number three.
Why breast feed? Well to start with , it is the design I mean mom comes equipt to do it. My doctor as well as most of the world's doctors state that breastfeeding is better for baby and mother. Your natural immunity is passed to your child through your milk.Studies are showing that not only are babies given moms immunities but they are also at lower risks for ear infections and recently I read for lukemia.Not to mention that mom's recovery time is quicker!
It's convenient.Always the perfect temperature. I have to say i know both sides of the fence on this one and I liked having to roll over pick up Addy and nurse her back to sleep while a peacefully dozed versed having to get up measure and heat water, mix test , feed burp... that was the case with TJ. I also liked not having to carry bottles around. Addy did take formula - she needed supplements.
I never had the problem of eating anything that didn't agree with Addy, I made sure that I had a lot of fluids and ate a well balanced diet but I never avoided any foods for the milks sake. Although, I always avoid alcohol I know that several moms have prepared for an evening out where they planned to have an adult beverage by pumping before going out for enough until they had metabolized the alcohol, and simply "pumped and dumped' the alcohol laced milk.
There is a lot of information out there on breastfeeding, I got the most help with Addy from other moms. I also got a great deal of encouragement from those moms. I think the best advice for a nursing mom is to join a support group, like Le Leche League. There are groups of moms that meet on a regular basis to discuss feeding, naturally.
I think that one of the best things about breast feeding is that sense of satisfaction that comes with knowing you are providing your babies nutrition, the bonding that takes place during nursing is absolutely amazing. I can't describe the feeling that I had looking down at my baby as she nursed and knowing that I was giving her something that no one else could.
What makes breastfeeding green you might ask? Well a few things, primarily to start breastfeed mothers forgo bottles most of the time, so the amount of plastic being produced for bottles is reduced, especially if the "drop in" disposable liners are avoided altogether, no plastic scoops. In exclusively breastfeeding moms aren't taking advantage milk based formulas, which come from obviously cows milk, a good 20% of green house gases come for the dairy farm industry, nursing inadvertent reduce green house gases.Not to mention the energy used to "harvest" the cows milk. Breast milk, always the the perfect temp required no energy, well no outside energy. You don't have to use electricity or natural gas to heat a bottle, no water or detergent that would pollute that water is used to clean the bottles. Then there is the poop factor,the issue of a breastfed versus formula-fed and the environment. When changing a diaper especially a cloth diaper, you know the difference! Breastfed baby’s waste is much easier to wash from a cloth diaper, as well as the odor is not nearly as bad. When considering the energy and water involved in washing cloth diapers, breast is definitely best!

I plan on writing next on bottle feeding, so what is the big deal with bottles these days anyway?Since having her and using the Avent brand bottles I have learned more about the dangers of plastics and how the constant heating and washing some brands of bottles can cause petro toxins , BPA that leach into the baby's milk and digestive systems. Rest assured though there are green options!

Baby Green